Friday, June 24, 2011

best of the blotter : patchouli and pets

ASSIST, MAYFIELD ROAD: An extremely upset resident called police at 2:10 a.m. June 17 because her cat was stuck behind a couch. Responding officers safely rescued the cat.

IDLE CHATTER, NOTTINGHAM COURT: A Nottingham Court woman told police that she heard a suspicious vehicle idling outside her home around 9:20 p.m. June 16. Officers responded and observed that the idling sound was actually the woman’s refrigerator.

Lakewood:

Kids smoking something strange in the restroom

Police were notified of four people smoking in the restroom at Lakewood Park at 7 p.m. June 16. The caller said the group — one female and three males — left behind a bag containing an unknown substance. Officers determined that the bag contained incense.

Criminal damaging

Police received a call about a group of children throwing eggs and writing on the side of a building in the 1400 block of Winchester Avenue on June 16. The children — all between the ages of seven and 10 — were advised by police. The caller said he would clean up the mess, which was determined to be impermanent.


Just so you know, dear Strongvillandia readers, gangstas don't tend to use eggs when targeting the cars of their victims.

More fun from the land down under:

Concerned passersby asked police to check on an older man walking on Main Street wearing only a T-shirt and underwear about 10 a.m. June 17.

Officers caught up with the man, who was not, in fact, exercising in his underwear, but wearing short shorts. He told police he appreciated the concern.

A Meadow Lane man called police about 11:45 p.m. June 14 to say he was living in fear and wanted to know when he could use lethal force on his neighbors. The man was very intoxicated, the report said, and was advised to stay in his house and go to sleep.

He apparently did not listen, because a resident called police to report hearing yelling and profanity a half hour later. The intoxicated man also called 911 again to say his neighbors came over and told him to "back off, dude" when he was in his own yard. He was arrested.

WESTLAKE:

Graffiti Artist Hits Bassett Building with Chief Wahoo

A Bassett Road building owner found a Chief Wahoo, along with other graffiti, on his dumpster enclosure at about 5:30 a.m. April 10. The victim suspects skateboarders who hang out in the area. He requested that officers cite any skateboarders on the property.

4 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Is your refrigerator running?

Are you suggesting some enterprising junior gangsta won't pierce an egg shell, suck out the innards and replace them with something combustible?

Was that Emery?

Damn skateboarders, why must they resort to crappy mascots to frighten instead of rolling over private property?

Why am I asking so many questions?

Anonymous said...

wow just reading the word patchouli makes me gag, learn something new everyday

Anonymous said...

http://www.studio360.org/2011/jun/24/

Anonymous said...

http://hearingvoices.com/news/2011/06/hv091-bad-trip/