out from under

Some changes afoot, arcane decisions of the powers that be, attendant absurdity with relatively decent results for yours truly, who now can chortle more at seekers in search of membership into the Esoteric Order of St. Drogo, which contrary to popular belief, is purely for imbibement of the Kynge's Brewe and the accompanying commentary of Sundry Important Issues, and not for anything resembling bunga-bunga. Lay off those old blues records, boomers, sometimes a cup of coffee is just a cup of coffee.

I've got nothing hey but I'm a star

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

In his chapter in 'The Four Loves," C.S. Lewis describes platonic friendship as a beautiful thing that is often derided and in some cases feared. When people discover common ground of one kind or another, it inevitably generates suspicion among one's overlords, especially when they do not recognize it for what it is.

"Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend. The rest of us know that though we can have erotic love and friendship for the same person yet in some ways nothing is less like a Friendship than a love-affair. Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest. Above all, Eros (while it lasts) is necessarily between two only. But two, far from being the necessary number for Friendship, is not even the best. And the reason for this is important.
... In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, "Here comes one who will augment our loves." For in this love "to divide is not to take away."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)


As I'm now older and a cog in the machine, conforming to dress codes albeit relaxed ones and on my own terms and a semi-regular schedule, I thought that my days of being against The Proverbial Man were behind me, but it seems that acting like a normal human being, in the sense of consuming caffeine and having the pleasure of working with likeminded souls with whom compact discs and lengthy tomes are traded with regularity, is somehow threatening to the order of things, and I'm not even in the corporate world.

"For us of course the shared activity and therefore the companionship on which Friendship supervenes will not often be a bodily one like hunting or fighting. It may be a common religion, common studies, a common profession, even a common recreation. All who share it will be our companions; but one or two or three who share something more will be our Friends. In this kind of love, as Emerson said, Do you love me? means Do you see the same truth? - Or at least, "Do you care about the same truth?" The man who agrees with us that some question, little regarded by others, is of great importance can be our Friend. He need not agree with us about the answer."

There's something wrong with people who obsess over money and networking and whose only interest outside of that is the minutiae of micromanagement, the toxic gossip of small minds, all done in a socially acceptable way. What's wrong with them? They don't buy into this. Someday when they're older and wiser like us they'll understand..."

It is supremely ironic that in a place dedicated to reading and study and the pursuit of knowledge, that the Powers That Be are often suspicious of these very things and the friendships forged along these lines, of people who read books that are neither pulp mysteries or primers on how to be rich, who listen to incomprehensible music, and follow news that has more to do with Central Asia and the Middle East than what so and so and whatserface is up to. The irony is astounding.

But hey, I've been here four years, others have been here longer, we still get along, and what better way to celebrate the absurdity of life but with some ephemeral Daria?

you know what? you know what?

I'd rather know that something is wrong and be told than to let it continue to go on to have the shit hit the fan now rather than later, but I feel my internal organs shudder when I get the impersonal communication devoid of context and enforcing a suffocating conformity to a norm that makes next to no sense outside of boardrooms and in motivational books.

I will smile and nod and say yes of course you're right, I laugh too much I smile too much, I'm too fucking human. I don't buy into this, but I'll pretend to because I need to eat.




But in reality I will say what I need to say, and not so much for cowardice as survival. I will try not to cry. I'm feeling resentful and not so much ashamed as understanding that the language that we speak is different than the language of those in power, that they will never understand us, and that we don't want to lose our souls to be them.

At least I have Kristin to cathartically rock out to in the car on the way home.

power, corruption, and lies

I went back for my last hearing in front of the judge this morning and after waiting half an hour, she finally showed up in a better mood than last time. Every case where the cop didn't show up, she let them off, which she didn't let happen to me a few months ago even though it was the same situation and my partner in crime got his charges dropped for lack of witnesses when he went in front of another judge.

It kills me that people who have this kind of power abuse it when they wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning or have their own axe to grind. Evidently the guy texting while driving gets off because she's in a good mood and the girl taking photos in an abandoned building gets probation and a $200 fine because she hadn't had her morning coffee yet.

I wanted to say something so badly but knew that'd get me in more trouble.

Meanwhile, Mr. Comic Sans who think he owns the soul of Cleveland because he owns their basketball team and a good chunk of their subprime mortgages is trying to mess with our river. Thanks a lot. I still wish Lebron had taken you with him. I hope you pull an Art Modell. The amount of hubris here is so stunning it's disgusting.

That, and the ubermensch, we're above the law attitude I see out of these business owners and national leaders just makes me want to hurl. The constant need to defend the indefensible, the constant trampling over others in pursuit of the almighty dollar, the constant devaluation of others who don't count because they have no money or don't look like you or don't provide you with connections.

Dammit.

best of the blotter 26

FRAUD, KINGS ORCHARD TRAIL: A man received a fraudulent $10,500 check from Halliburton. He did not try to cash the check.

He was advised to shred it and check his credit reports.

PARKWAY: Four girls, ages 12 and 13, rode bicycles Sunday on the trail by Bagley Road. A elderly man in a maroon car pulled up near them and held a toy Scooby Doo out the window and began barking. The girls continued riding, but they encountered the man again at the crossover by Big Creek School. He held up the dog again and barked, then said “I’m going to follow you.” The girls rode to one of their homes, where a father called police. The man was not found.

THEFT, RICHMOND ROAD: On Saturday, a Sagamore Hills male, 52, was arrested for stealing a fire hydrant from the front of the Waterford of Richmond Heights.

The male said he and his friend stole the knocked over fire hydrant because he thought it would look good in his bar located in his basement.

The male apologized for his indiscretion and said he had never been in trouble before, which police confirmed.

Police smelled alcohol on the man and he said the smell was left over from the night before which probably prompted him to steal the fire hydrant.

The hydrant was returned.

NEIGHBOR DISPUTE, EAST COTTAGE STREET: Police responded to an Aug. 2 report of a 49-year-old woman yelling at her next-door neighbor’s landscaper about 8 a.m. as he was placing stones around a flower bed. The landscaper left after he told the neighbor to “shut her filthy mouth.“ The irate neighbor then got in her car and drove slowly down the street screaming, before spinning her tires in front of the neighbor’s house and driving off. The woman has been charged with disorderly conduct stemming from a June incident. This time, when police asked if the suspect had been yelling at her, the complainant replied, “no, but at one point, I think she was yelling at my flowers.“ Police planned to contact the suspect’s probation officer.

HARASSING COMMUNICATION, MAY COURT: An 11-year-old girl who may have been the victim of a wrong number got more than she bargained for Aug. 5 when she replied to a photo sent to her cell phone, asking “who is this?” and received a reply, “It’s the sandman, coming to get your soul because you haven’t been to church lately...” Police believe the originator in Texas may have mixed up cell phone numbers, leaving a series of messages that “were not necessarily threatening but certainly a little disturbing and bizarre in their content.”

DAMAGED PROPERTY: On Aug. 3, police received word of two incidents of graffiti vandalism.

A garage door in the 13000 block of Sun Crest Court was spray painted with the words “Strongsville Underground Thugs.”

A garage door in the 17000 block of Akita Court was also spray painted.