Tuesday, January 3, 2012

best of the blotter: chickens and suspicions

CHESTER ROAD, THEFT : Rush Inn called to advise that a picture of the Cleveland Browns and two sets of antlers had been unscrewed, removed from the bathroom wall and stolen on Nov. 14.

A man waiting for the bus at the intersection of Detroit and Westwood avenues was yelling that he was going to visit the Pope, noting the Jesus Christ had entered his body at around 8 p.m. Nov. 3. Police advised the man to keep to himself while waiting for the bus to arrive.

THEFT, BRIDGESIDE DRIVE: A resident called police on Dec. 22 at 12:19 a.m. to report that a light-up Abominable Snowman was stolen from their yard. In its place, the culprits left a chicken decoration that did not belong there. An officer reported taking the errant chicken into custody and transporting it to the police station.

THEFT, BIG CREEK PARKWAY: Police are paying special attention to a resident’s property after a complaint of rock theft.

The female resident called police Dec. 20 after the rocks were stolen from her yard. Officers found a single thin tire mark in the grass like that a wheelbarrow might make.

According to the resident, this is not the first time this has happened. She valued her collection of rocks at $7,000.

A woman called from Chatman Drive about 10:30 p.m. April 14 saying she saw a man who seemed high or drunk yelling "Siamese cat" very loudly. The man was heavyset and his his 20s.

HOAX WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, VENTURE DRIVE: Someone mailed an envelope containing a suspicious grainy substance to the Cuyahoga County Board of Health, 5550 Venture.

The FBI determined that the substance was split peas. Police have no suspects.

Bomb squad deployed

Bomb technicians from five communities responded to a report of a “suspicious white powder” in an old military can in the 1600 block of Elbur Avenue at around 3:30 p.m. July 31. It turns out that the can contained the remains of a cat that had decomposed.


Randal Graves said...

If the rock collection was valued at less than 5k, would the attention not be special, but just regular attention?

I think fake JC just wants to ride the Vatican go-karts.

Anonymous said...

in other news: fishbone alive&kickin