best of the blotter 35: banana thieves, fake nails, and piles of salt.

THEFT, COMMONWEALTH AVENUE: Vehicles in neighboring driveways were reported broken into Friday. One resident said two vehicles, left in their drive overnight, had been ransacked but nothing was stolen. The neighbor said a GPS device, loose change and a banana was stolen from their vehicle.

SUSPICIOUS PERSON, PEARL ROAD: A female employee of De’ Sol Tanning told the owner of the shopping plaza that she was scared of an elderly intoxicated man who came into the business to tan. She stated he came in with his hands in his pockets and was mumbling. Police responded, and did not believe the man was intoxicated; however, he did act belligerently with employees of the business and police. The man — who indicated he was homeless and living in his van — left and had his money refunded.

THEFT, CHAGRIN BOULEVARD: A Shaker Heights woman, 50, was arrested Feb. 8 for stealing fake eyelashes and fake nails from Walgreen’s.

MISCHIEF, BROADVIEW ROAD: Around noon on Feb. 9, an officer was dispatched to an RTA bus that was stopped on the side of the road. The police department had received word that there was a person on the bus who was lighting paper on fire and refused to exit the bus.

The officer entered the bus and noticed a 27-year-old Cleveland woman sitting near the back door and staring straight ahead. The driver of the bus explained that the passenger entered the bus in downtown Cleveland, rode it to the last stop at Broadview Center and then re-entered a few moments later. She was the only passenger on the bus.

As the driver headed north, she started smelling smoke. She stopped the bus and asked the passenger if anything was burning. The passenger explained that she was lighting paper on fire.

The driver demanded she exit the bus and would not continue to drive until she did.

The officer approached the passenger, who said that she had no identification. She explained that she was so bored that she decided to light paper on fire. She insisted that she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

After she gave officers her social security number, the officer learned that she had a warrant out for her arrest.

The woman was cited for criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

And in Chagrin Falls, which totally has the so bucolic it must be weird factor going for it:

DISTURBANCE, NORTH MAIN STREET: Police were called shortly before 8 a.m. on Feb. 10 to Starbucks Coffee Shop, where two well-dressed men were “fighting — all verbal” for unknown reasons. One man had left upon arrival of police and the other said “he was in a hurry to leave and did not wish to press charges.”

SUSPICION, CARRIAGE DRIVE: A woman reported Feb. 8 that she thinks someone is harassing her and her husband, after they left a large pile of salt at their front door.