Thursday, March 31, 2011

best of the blotter 40: sick squirrels and desperate men

ANIMALS, WILSON MILLS ROAD: On March 21, a woman reported that a sick squirrel walked into the Naya Bistro and Lounge.

She said the squirrel was moved outside but it would not leave the area.

Police removed the animal from the premises.

BURGLARY, BURTON STREET: A couple of handguns were stolen from a home on March 26 along with jewelry and electronic devices. While the theft of weapons is alarming, Sgt. Vince Molnar said firearms are targeted because they retain their value and criminals look to trade them in for cash or items like narcotics. He added, however, they’re obviously a tool of criminals. Detectives are investigating.

DISORDERLY CONDUCT, JAMESTOWN PARKWAY: Occupants of two vehicles executed a vendetta against Jamestown mailboxes on March 26, damaging at least four residential boxes that night. Police were unable to locate them.


Police were called to the Lakewood Hospital medical offices on Detroit Avenue after a man was upset that he couldn’t carry his gun into the doctor’s office March 10. The man had a conceal-carry permit.


A resident in the 2100 block of Clarence Avenue said his mom brought food home from a Brook Park store on March 11, and it appeared there was a “toe or a finger” in the package. Turns out it was a piece of kielbasa.

Two women reported being approached by panhandlers who were both a little too aggressive in their advances.

A woman leaving Dillard's at Westfield SouthPark about 6 p.m. March 23 told police a man in a car asked her for money. When she said she didn't have any, he said he would ride with her to go get some.

The man was in his 20s, short with a thin build.

Less than two hours later, a woman at Home Depot was followed to her car by a man around 50 with gray hair who said he was out of work, had no money and wanted her to take him to dinner.

An unwanted visitor tried to open the front door of a Trapper Trail home the morning of March 21. The visitor also left roses at the house.


Randal Graves said...

Once I bought a bag of Hormel Toes & Fingers and found a kielbasa, too. Took forever to get my money back. Luckily I was able to trade my guns, the obvious tool of the criminal, in for cash in the meantime. In other police news, 2+2=4.

thatgirl said...

this might be one of the best comments ever especially coming from you.

Randal Graves said...

Awww -- but wait! Does this count towards my interesting conversational vignette quota?

Word verification: subortly.

thatgirl said...

Would snark involving severed appendages be considered acceptable at her new places of employment I wonder...

The people I know at the Clinic are even more morbid than we peons.

Randal Graves said...

This will not stand. *WE* need some books bound in human skin, and stat, the open house is tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Love your site man keep up the good work