Thursday, July 29, 2010

best of the blotter 25

THEFT, VAN AKEN BOULEVARD: A male suspect stole six lobster tails, $120, from Fresh Market, 20233 Van Aken, Friday.

DISPUTE, ROUTE 82: Officers helped to calm down an upset Brunswick woman on July 5. The elderly woman was upset because her veterinarian had not saved her dog’s teeth after he pulled them.

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, MEADOW LANE: A Strongsville man was advised by police last Thursday evening after he got a little too emotional about LeBron James’ defection to the Miami Heat.

A scared resident called police at 11 p.m. because she heard a man yelling in the woods behind her home. The woman told police the man sounded like he was in distress.

When police arrived, they found the Strongsville man in an agitated state. He was highly intoxicated and he said he was upset about James’ decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. Police advised the man to go home and calm down.

STREET VENDING, PEARL ROAD: A Strongsville man was advised last Thursday for trying to sell anti-LeBron James T-shirts.

The man, who works for an anti-James Web site, had set up a booth at the former Quality Catering site to sell T-shirts. The man was told that he must have a vendor’s permit to sell items in Strongsville.

EBAY THEFT: A 1966 Batman Milk advertising sign was stolen via eBay from a Forest Meadows Dr. resident. The item is valued at $160.49.

SOLICITOR COMPLAINTS, PIN OAK DRIVE: A woman called police July 13 to complain about a solicitor. The woman said the man was very pushy, and was asking for her date of birth and Social Security number. The man was selling alarm systems, and he asked to come into the woman’s house to look at her current alarm system. Officers spoke to the man and told him if they received one more complaint about him, his solicitor’s permit would be revoked. On Thursday, officers received another complaint about the same solicitor. He was once again very pushy, and told a resident thieves would break into her home if she did not buy an alarm system from him. Officers revoked the man’s solicitation permit.

HARASSMENT, TYNDALL FALLS: A woman called police July 14 after receiving a strange phone call. The woman said the caller claimed he was from Pakistan and asked her about her fire alarm system. The man then said he was going to drop a bomb on the United States. Police are investigating.

HARASSMENT, RIDGELINE COURT: A resident reported July 20 that he received a disturbing spam e-mail. The e-mail from “Don Gunshot” threatened to kill the man unless he paid them off. The e-mail said that if the man didn’t cough up $5,000 “Don Gunshot” would pay a final visit to his home.


Randal Graves said...

Stealing via ebay? Criminals have no standards these days.

Boo hiss hiss to that pushy alarm salesman. We should sic Don Gunshot on him.

Dammit, that would make a cool comic, The Amazing Adventures of Don Gunshot, Vigilante.

thatgirl said...

I guess this email's been making the rounds since no one's falling for Nigerian prince stories anymore.


This is the only way I could contact you for now,I want you to be very careful about this and keep this secret with you until I make out space for us to see. You have no need of knowing who I am or where I am from.I know this may sound very surprising to you but it’s the situation.I have been paid some ransom in advance to terminate you with some reasons listed to me by my employer. It’s someone I believe you call a friend, I have followed you closely for a while now and have seen that you are innocent of the accusations he leveled against you. Do not contact the police or try to send a copy of this to them,because if you do, I will know,and I might be pushed to do what I have been paid to do.Besides, this is the first time I turn out to be a betrayer in my job. I took pity on you,that is why I have made up my mind to help you if you are willing to help yourself.

Now listen,I will arrange for us to see face to face,but before that, I need $10,000. I will come to your home or you determine where you wish we meet; I repeat, do not arrange for the cops and if you play hard to get, it will be extended to your family. Do not set any camera to cover us or set up any tape to record our conversation, my employer is in my control now. Payment details will be provided for you to make a part payment of $5,000 first,which will serve as guarantee that you are ready to you co-operate,then i will post a copy of the video tape that contains his request for me to terminate you which will be enough evidence for you to take any legal action against him before he employs another person for the job. You will pay the balance of $5,000 once you receive the tape.

Warning; do not contact the police, make sure you stay indoors once it is 7.30pm until this whole thing is sorted out,if you neglect any of these warnings, you will have yourself to blame. You do not have much time, so get back to me immediately.

Note:I will advise you keep this to yourself alone, not even a friend or a family member should know about it because it could be one of them.

Don Gunshot.

thatgirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thatgirl said...

because, you know, this is about as specific as your early morning horoscope.

I wonder if anyone's fallen for it.