passin' me by

it's 1:30 in the morning and I was so restless earlier tonight.

believe it or not, I do like to get out of this city and this state once in awhile. My roommate's going to NYC for the weekend and I'm so happy for her, and wishing I wasn't housesitting for some friends because I've never been there and have always wanted to go.

I live vicariously through the lives of everyone around me, not because mine isn't occasionally interesting, but because I enjoy hearing about the experiences of others knowing that I may never get there or that those times are now gone.

But sometimes it gets old. I've always been curious and thirsty for knowledge, and while the world comes to my door here, I still want to actually see it for myself.

Really, I'll go anywhere. Take me almost anywhere that's at least a hundred years old and I will find something interesting. And the last time I was out of Ohio was two years ago when I ended up in Detroit, which was awesome but a lot like where I come from. I ended up in Phoenix and DC in college to visit friends and be part of a demonstration, but that's about it.

I've always wanted to go places, and the last time I filled out a passport application someone broke into my car and stole the photos and a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD and I keep waiting for my face to turn up in the papers when Mossad botches another assassination.

I explore every inch I can find of where I am, but I'd love a change of scene, something unlike where I'm at. I worked through college instead of studying abroad just because that was my only economic option, and I've never left the country, ever. I've never been to the west coast or the deep south or any mega-city besides DC.

I wouldn't want to go with some cheesy tour group or by myself. I'd want to sleep on someone's floor that I knew instead of stay at some resort or hotel. I'd like to just explore, see what's around and just take everything in.

Whenever me and the roommate try to plan something to visit friends of ours, it always gets bad there and we know we can't pull it off. So much for Jamaica this spring, we'll probably never get to Gaza either.

And it seems like everyone else gets to where they want to be, that it works out so easily, and no matter how I try it never seems to happen. I wonder if it ever will.