Wednesday, July 27, 2011

best of the blotter: booze and bingo

NORTH ROYALTON
A 66-year-old woman reached a new low July 20 after North Royalton police removed her from a bingo game at Holy Trinity Ukrainian Autocephalous Church on State Road.

After a two-year absence from the game, the woman paid $21 for a bingo package and took a seat in the church hall. According to police reports, she swore at another player, who then got up to complain to management. While speaking with bingo staff, the woman accused the player of cutting in line and pointed her finger into the player’s face.

Because of the woman’s colorful history of bingo outbursts, security personnel decided she is no longer welcome on the church property to play. Police issued the woman a misdemeanor citation for disorderly conduct.

BURGLARY, SPRAGUE ROAD: A caller reported at 5:21 p.m. July 17 the theft of $900 in quarters from their home sometime during the previous four hours. It was believed the culprit could be a “drunkard son or bad neighbor.”

MENACING, PROSPECT ROAD: A caller reported at 4:41 p.m. July 18 that their 18-year-old son was screaming at family members.

According to a police report, the man “was trying to see if his older sister’s boyfriend could protect her and was trying to fight him to see if he could fight.”

The boyfriend refused to engage in the rough-housing. The subject reportedly agreed to leave the property and the boyfriend declined any further action.

DISTURBANCE, WHITNEY ROAD: At 3:54 p.m. July 19, a customer at Molly McGhee’s reported that she had discovered a cigarette butt in her salad.

Police advised her it was a civil matter, but the woman and her family were reportedly engaged in an argument with the bartender.

Officers responded, and the complainant eventually was satisfied with how the owner agreed to handle the situation.

SOUTHPARK CENTER: A SouthPark Mall employee reported at 8:45 p.m. July 22 that a man was carrying an open container of alcohol while shopping.

When officers located the man, he claimed he had been given the alcohol while trying on clothing. He was advised it is illegal to carry an open container around.

The subject then told police that he had $32,000 in a bank bag, which was in his wife’s purse in a baby stroller. According to the subject, someone had stolen $5,000-$10,000 from the bag while he and his family were trying on clothes at the mall.

Police noted in a report that there was no proof the subject had that amount of money, or that any had been stolen. The subject stated he would investigate the alleged theft himself.

FRAUD, BRIARWOOD LANE: A complainant reported at 11:36 a.m. July 23 that a credit card had been used without permission, resulting in approximately $700 in charges for iTunes, Match.com and Lawdepot.com.

COMPLAINT, CLIFTON BOULEVARD: Police were called to Optimal Health Chiropractic on July 22 because some 30-year-old stereo equipment was stolen from the basement. However, due to the age of the equipment, the owner could provide no further detail.

ASSAULT, LAKE AVENUE
Police received a call that two people were hitting each other with a guitar in the 12000 block of Lake Avenue at around 9 p.m. July 18. A man and a woman were each charged with public intoxication.

8 comments:

Randal Graves said...

For those of you that doubt bingo being a harsh game, exhibit A.

If more stores passed booze out to customers, maybe the economy wouldn't be in such shambles.

"Bastard! I'm the Real Guitar Hero!"

thatgirl said...

Also I want to start a fake metal band with the word Autocephalous in it.

Randal Graves said...

Oh, the mascot totally has to be a Byzantine Pantokrator toting a six-string.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I see.

Cleveland truly is a land of brigands and cutthroats.

Yet you two have been covering it all up in order to lure in unsuspecting tourists with your tales of a wonderland by the lake!
~

thatgirl said...

Randal,
this actually sounds like it would rule... now, to find a bouzouki.

Thunder,
We keep it real here in the Land of the Scandalouzz. It's a veritable carnival of souls.

Anonymous said...

just left this over at AbBe's but thought it might get some love here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkj4bU8lozc

thatgirl said...

wow that's like me at that age, long hair and all, though I probably wouldn't have put myself on Youtube even if it was around back then.

Anonymous said...

i liked how blasé her face was.
youtube is crack...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg1jyL3cr60&feature=related