Wednesday, August 5, 2009

lock the door and kill the light...

I hate nights alone when I know that no one's coming home even though I have a fantastic roommate and this doesn't happen much.

I like having time to myself but I was never meant to live alone. I don't like cooking for just one, I don't like ordering takeout by myself, or watching movies alone. I don't like sharing my space with just a cat because that, and my occupation, seem to imply that spinsterhood is inevitable.

Solitude is good for curling up with books and making art, but when it gets late and everything is dark, I just lay there and think too much and wonder if this is what the future holds because this period doesn't last forever... eventually people get sick of each other or find a significant other or go onto other things and places. And I wonder if I will end up being alone once again.

I know I shouldn't think about it too much but I do.


Ricky Shambles said...

Funny, I inhabit the opposite end of the spectrum. Married and often dwelling on where all the time goes and if I'll ever, ever have any solid alone time again, wondering how to make everyone just go away, even for a little while.

Mike said...

I just think of Donne's "No man is an island."

Personally I prefer solitude (and in this case anonymity). Solitude is that time by yourself where you discover you. Loneliness does suck though, but I have crazy roommates that keep me far from it, and that my profession will inevitably prevent me from being alone.