Monday, July 27, 2009


I tend to be pretty social just because I enjoy people and find them interesting, but I just get so drained when everyone decides you're the perfect confidant to talk about tension regarding mutual friends. Sometimes I don't answer my phone depending on who it is because I get to the point where I just don't want to deal with whatever the inevitable conversation will be. I don't know who to believe or if I can believe either side of the story because it seems like everyone thinks they're the hero and the victim.

And I find that I still prefer to avoid large groups of people I don't know. Or what's worse, when half of them are people you do know and their friends are standoffish because you've got the wrong style or the wrong zipcode or the wrong pigmentation and therefore you're assumed to be a certain way. And you realize how little you relate to your generation and that most people aren't like you.

It seems like a lot of us in our mid-20s are either partying themselves into oblivion or getting married and not hanging out anymore or just hanging out with other couples. And it's awkward sometimes being around people who just talk about what they bought from Ikea and what was on TV last night.

And I don't like the club scene, the bar scene, and parties where everyone's drunk and all I want is a cup of strong black coffee because even a glass of wine will make me fall asleep. I'm not interested in dance moves, hookups, drama, how artsy you are, Top 40, trendy indie band of the week, or how many shots of tequila you can handle. I'm still a geeky kid from the suburbs who happens to prefer the city and all that it involves.

I just like to keep it chill.

My best times have been with a couple good friends chilling on a balcony or a front porch, walking along the shore at Edgewater, driving through Cleveland listening to music, taking random road trips, staying out late drinking coffee at eating pancakes at some 24-hour place having absurd conversations where you laugh a lot and get profound without trying.

Sometimes I wonder if it's weird that this is all I need.


Cookbook said...

I don't think it's weird. It's lovely.

Valerie said...

i miss this kind of stuff.

my life has somehow dwindled into nothing more than grad school, knitting, and my cat.

so, i guess, you should find solace and happiness in these things...b/c they are happy activities. and those who judge you are (probably) secretly jealous that they can't have fun without booze or drama.