Tuesday, November 1, 2011

mysterious strangers

I'm not huge into Halloween, as my monsters this year seem to have more to do with mid-twenties angst, economic constraints, and the less glamorous side of city living. Still, there is always the comedie humaine of Craigslist as the awkwardness of men and women only gets more interesting when everyone's dressed up and either in or out of character.

To the 4 different girls I saw dressed up as Annie Hall last night - w4w - 32 (Cleveland Ohio)

I don't know why all of a sudden it's in vogue to be a 23yr old dressed up as Annie Hall, but you might have saved yourself the money you spent on a hat you will probably never wear again, and just gone as Zoey Deschanel, cause it's the same damn thing. Also, you should aspire to date better men, Woody Allen as a boyfriend sucks. And please promise yourself right now to never make a movie with Jack Nicholson.

I get a little offended when people think that I'm a Woody Allen movie person, because hopefully I don't come across too much like a brilliant yet neurotic and pathologically selfish loser. I really hope that's not the case.

Bonnie + Clyde's Wonder Woman 10/28/11 - m4w - 38 (Lakewood)
Date: 2011-10-31, 9:55AM EDT
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Hey Wonder Woman! Wow, you really are sexy and cute at the same time. Each time our eyes met, I got flustered. I'm kicking myself for being intimidated by your friends and the other guys drawn to you. Since Friday night, I just keep seeing your brown eyes, great figure in that little red, white and blue outfit; and most impressively, your bright smile which you flashed at me several times. I wasn't wearing a costume but I was drinking rum & coke. Tell me what color my shirt was........I saw you checking out my arms.. lol Let's connect Wonder Woman. Maybe I can be your Superman!

this makes me think of a terrible soft rock ballad by the All Sports Band that is sadly not on Youtube, and also this cinematic gem.

Werewolf at the Chamber Saturday 10/29 - w4m - 36 (Lakewood)
Date: 2011-10-30, 3:01AM EDT
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You: You're a great dancer, funny, and polite. You're about 5'10", nice solid build, and if I were to hazard a guess, I'd say you're about 5 years younger than me and good-looking without the makeup, ears and fangs.

Me: I'm 5'10" without the high heels that I ditched a couple times, full-figured with short dark hair (some of it was pink tonight), wearing a purple jacket, lace t-shirt, and shiny red/black pants. I was with a friend who's the same height and was dressed as Lady Gaga.

I was having a really rough night till you started dancing with me. You made me smile. Thank you.

As it's the Chamber, no Twilight jokes here, just that there was something kind of sweet about this one.

And outside of Clevelandia, here's more tales of missed chances in the Rust Belt.

Frida drew a bleeding heart - m4w - 27 (MOCAD)
Date: 2011-10-30, 1:05PM EDT
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Frida, you drew that amazing bleeding heart on me and even though my costume is gone it's still there. This is the first missed connect I've ever posted, really regretting not having talked to you more. How amazing, when a painter and a piece of paper can come together like that.

Oh art kids, I hope you find each other.

Also, Jay and Silent Bob seemed to be universally big this year, probably because any pair of average looking dudes around my age can look and act like them without any trouble.

Your mischevious eyes at Tops - m4w - 29 (Grand Island)
Date: 2011-09-23, 4:42PM EDT
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You were a beautiful brown haired woman, I was a dorky, bowling shirt clothed silent bob impersonator with great glasses. Your black hooded sweatshirt was adorned with what appeared to be neon writing, and your eyes lit up with mirth or mischief when you looked my way.

We exchanged glances a few times, finally nodding at one another in passing. I wondered by your expression if my hair was a mess or my shirt had something on it.

Well, was it my hair?

Your half smile melted my eyeballs out of my head, and I hope that whomever you smile like that for appreciates it as I did.

* Location: Grand Island
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Not only that, but the chicks seem intrigued by that dynamic duo.

Looking for Jay & Silent Bob from the town ballroom party this weekend - w4m - 26 (buffalo)
Date: 2011-11-01, 9:24AM EDT
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anyone know jay & silent bob from those parties and possibly know how to reach either of them???? PLEASE???? any info would help. a name, a number, a facebook page, ANYTHING!

looking for silent bob. i was the red-head standing next to you waiting to signup for the contest. i tried talking to you, but you remained in character and just smiled and waved at me. i'm hoping we can get together and actually TALK a bit, you're pretty cute!! 8-P

if you remember me, tell me what my costume was!! 8-)

i'm also throwing a party this week and I'd love it if you guys could make it! please get back to me asap if you see this or anyone can help me track him down!! thank you xoxoxoxo

And this really isn't Halloween related, but the sheer wastedness and embodiment of OSU bro-ness made it priceless.

Party Bus - From 7/11 to Park Street - m4w - 24 (Downtown Columbus)
Date: 2011-10-30, 5:14AM EDT
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Soooo... I was totally blacked out and I forgot your name. You live at waterford, teach something, and love New York like 50 cent. I'm still pretty drunk and won't remember posting this, but email a brother and we will get a cup of tea..


PostingID: 2676163433

Meanwhile, while dude is so drunk he doesn't remember that he's looking for lurve, other souls are for glitter girls who rock and roll and appear to be dating losers. It's strangely reassuring that this cuts both ways across the great divide of heteronormativity.

Hot Blonde at Skully's!!!!!!!!! - m4w - 39 (Columbus)
Date: 2011-10-30, 9:51PM EDT
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Halloween costume party at SKULLY'S on High Street this past Friday 28th. You were wearing a white ROLLING STONES t-shirt with glitter on your face.....some guy was all over you & I could tell you weren't into it.......you need a rocker......(me)......NIRVANA came on & you dug it, Mr. cool didn't get it.....he was either too drunk or..well, his actions spoke for themselves. If you were a couple, please forgive me, but I nor any of the people I was with saw it or understood it. Anyway, if you see this, by all means I'd love to hear from you. You were STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!

Thurston and Kim have called it quits, life is not usually a Sonic Youth video, but dream on rocker dude who loves the capital letters and exclamation points and it's an excuse to post the song below.

1 comment:

Randal Graves said...

The kids aren't into the incubation style it seems.

Jay and Silent Bob ain't nothin' without me, opening RST, officially.

Brilliant, you bet. Neurotic & the rest, I don't know you that well, but you're certainly pretty damn weird.

Oh, and Annie Hall, yawnfest.