snark.

We never get hurricanes in Ohio, just grey skies and washes of rain. Maybe it will restore the tomato plant that's fainting on my back balcony. In the meantime it makes me drowsy and restless.


In the meantime, the Lakewood police blotter never fails me. And while most of the incidents involve public intoxication and bicycle theft, there are others that are somewhat entertaining... For having the feel of living in the city, there's something kind of charming about some of these.

09/04/08

COMPLAINT, OLIVE AVENUE:A resident reported that someone attempted to her garage overnight on Aug. 26 but were unable to get inside due to all of her junk.

COMPLAINT, FRANKLIN BOULEVARD:A man selling bootleg Alice Cooper T-shirts was sent on his way at 8:13 p.m. Aug. 26.

COMPLAINT, DETROIT AVENUE:A man stole an Indians hat from a business and left on a push scooter at 5:08 p.m

COMPLAINT, DETROIT AVENUE:A man in a gorilla costume was throwing trash can lids into the street at 11:11 p.m. Saturday.

COMPLAINT, LAKE AVENUE:A resident called police believing that the government was hacking into her computer at 5:38 p.m. Saturday. The resident did not have Internet access.

COMPLAINT, NEWMAN AVENUE:Police were called on a man shooting squirrels in his back yard at 12:23 p.m. Saturday. The man stated that he was shooting the animals because they were eating his pears.

SUSPICION, DETROIT AVENUE:A caller heard a woman's scream coming from a parking lot at 12:21 a.m. Aug. 12. The woman was screaming because her soda had exploded in her face.