I dropped one class in favor of another, because as interesting as the subject matter is, I can read the books on my own and don't have to do any presentations in the one I'm taking instead. I hate public speaking with a passion and any attempts to get over this have only reinforced that I hate it for a good reason, and should leave it to those who enjoy that kind of thing.
The rumors of changes and axing has begun and while I know that God has always taken care of me in the past, my faith is still about as big as a proverbial mustard seed and I'm more cynic than hopeful sometimes, because if my expectations are low enough I can't be that disappointed right? And at least I've got no kids or spouse to worry about.
I've always been told I'm too negative and cynical and I need to think more positively but I don't believe in any "power of attraction/positive thinking/name it and claim it/prosperity gospel/your best life now" philosophies. There's no truth to those, and everyone I've ever met in my life who's into that thing are in complete denial about the reality of their situations and themselves, and it lets them absolve themselves of any responsibility or need to change something about who they are and how they deal with situations and people (which is usually very badly).
Honestly, it almost seems like self-induced mental illness, because it's such a load of mind games designed for disconnection to the truth. When it's all about looking good, keeping up appearances, pretending that things are fine when they're clearly not, all that leads to is disaster eventually.
And for those of us who remain hopeful but don't expect too much out of life, it seems like we're the ones that come out all right even if we're not so pretty or it doesn't always look like what you think it'll be.