There are times the thoughts come out spiraling so intensely, in ways more suited for a conversation over coffee in person than something sent out into the little corner of cyberspace and it is all too easy to regret what was said, look back and wonder what the hell was I thinking, and why did I get so worked up.
So many others express their ideas of politics, economics, and social issues with way more expertise and articulateness than yours truly, who tries desperately not to be all nerve and no brain, but often end up being a big icky mess of ritually sacrificed bleeding heart most of the time, cut through the sharp obsidian of cynicism that some mistake for unredeemable negativity.
Unlike most of my generation who seem to prefer soundbytes and emoticons, interaction using abstract boxes and abbreviations, I still love face-to-face discourse and banter, just like I enjoy going into actual record stores to buy actual music, prefer printed pages to reading online, real coffee to instant.
So 20th century right? I've made my concessions bit by bit, but I really hate text messaging, Twitter, and consider the whole facebook thing a necessary evil since The Kids don't tend to do email much anymore and it occasionally provides a good avenue to keep in touch real time with old friends scattered across the globe who don't check their email.
I love the dialogue of diametrically opposed points of view, where there is give and take, snarky asides, unfinished thoughts and half-formed solutions. There's lots of that in this forum, but something gets lost in translation when there's the lack of spontaneity and face-to-face response, connections that have little to do with fiber optic cables and infinitely more to do with eye contact.
There's a part of me on here that really is what I'm made of, but there's a whole lot more that is unseen, just like the voice on the radio you hear at 5am. I'm really not all that cool and exciting when it comes down to it, but I keep writing, to remember, to process, to connect, and I guess most of the time there's nothing wrong with that.
Also, this Elastica was very dear to me in my teenage years and that first record still gets a lot of play come warm weather. Girls not just singing, but playing guitar too and not being Kathleen Hanna was a revelation. We all don't want to sing about feminism. Sometimes we just want to sing about whatever. I still kind of want Justine's haircut.