looking for elton/tom araya

although i bought my 'sexy saturn' (dubbed as such by the palestinian gas station clerk down the street from me) off of craigslist, the "musicians" section is not nearly so promising, full of aspiring van halen tribute bands and teenage metalheads.

but this one was a keeper as far as giggles go.

Tribute band looking for lead vocalist/stage manager. We are a professional touring tribute act that combines the 70's glitz and glamour of Elton John with the heavy, brutal, speed metal assault of Slayer all performed as a Broadway-like stage production borrowing heavily from Death of a Salesman, Cats, and the Lion King.

5 years as an operatic understudy required. Voice must be clear for Elton parts and harsh and evil for Tom Araya parts. If you play an instrument, be sure you've mastered it, and it's either piano or electric bass. Ideal person would also have professional ballet training, or interpretive dance experience. Ability to script and direct a stage production required. We are committed to only achieving EXCELLENCE with this project. We will be working above the stage at some points, so those afraid of heights need not apply.