hang the dj

I avoided the shimmering psychedelic sounds of the Third World for a trip back into the music that for me is the equivalent of comfort and catharsis, waves of distortion and drums.



I think about what I want to hear that early in the morning as I'm getting on the highway and the city lights haven't even come on yet.



It's a strange sensation being up there, powering up the transmitter, sending these sounds out around the world, bouncing off radio receivers, static in your car radio, streamed across the Internet, yet at the same time I exist in isolation in a booth on the fourth floor of a building downtown surrounded by vacant lots and old storefronts, with a stack of CDs, a laptop, and occasional a pile of records, attempting to maintain a mood and flow.



The phone almost never rings, and I hardly talk on the air because I don't like the sound of my voice that much and the music does the talking. It's too early in the morning and I prefer the anonymity. I wonder if anyone's listening at all because the world outside the window is dark and cold.

By the end of the morning I've been getting my estrogen rock on... Sleater Kinney and Curve, Throwing Muses and Patti Smith. I didn't realize we have Jucifer's entire back catalog until I went to put everything away but that could've worked too.



Ended with My Bloody Valentine... six minutes of blissed-out noise. The DJ after me gave me some powdered vitamins and a bottled water because I must look like I'm not doing so good today. Got over my fear of parking garages because I don't want to fight another parking ticket. Caffeine has yet to kick in. I think I need more Ethiopian coffee.

coptic times

"This will keep you up past midnight."

Due to my massive caffeine consumption, I wasn't expecting a demitasse cup of Ethiopian rocket fuel to do much to me, but she was right. I didn't need dinner with the massive amount of injera, savory stews that mean I will never be vegetarian, and spiced bread served with the strongest coffee I've ever had. Celebrating Christmas 2002 on the Coptic calendar and hearing Siyum joke at our expense about the western world freaking out at the time of Y2K was priceless.

I came home late and full of spicy goodness and somehow did end up staying past midnight drinking ginger tea and watching the entire animated Clerks series loaned to me by my esteemed fellow peon.

I'm exhausted today, but it was a beautiful way to end.

guns and religion

I felt sick and angry to hear about a congresswoman getting gunned down in Arizona, which, with its combination of the worst elements of the conservative and liberal spectrum (thanks a lot rich boomers!), isn't shocking given the particularly nasty strain of politics going down there.

And don't tell me this is loaded imagery, because it damn well is. I don't blame Sarah Palin for this incident any more than I blame Marilyn Manson for Columbine, but for all the complaining about being stereotyped by clinging to guns and religion, this does nothing but perpetuate.



I'm almost relieved that the guy was more nihilistic than crazy and religious but that doesn't change the fact that people are dead. I'm glad that the condemnation of this has been universal on all sides because trivializing ignorant comments don't do any good for anyone.

I've been told by people who are more conservative than myself that the reason that I don't like Sarah Palin is because it's not cool too, and because "the media" is mean to her but that couldn't be further from the truth. She feeds just as much off the media as it feeds off her.

I see a rank hypocrisy, political incompetence, a crass opportunism, and an enjoyment of the media circus, where truth and honesty is subverted in the name of "Real American Values."

She has set herself up as the spokesperson of an entire group, talking about good governance when she quit her job to make a lot of money promoting a bestselling book and a 'reality' tv show. If anything, she's the Al Sharpton of the right, an opportunist who jumps on bandwagons, shows up on TV all the time, makes herself the center of attention and won't shut up.

I don't want to hear about her great morals or middle class values, because morality is more than saying that abortion is bad, it has to do with your character too, being an honest person and a decent human being, as opposed to being a greedy, bullying, loudmouth.

I dread voting in this coming election watching the Republican party eat its young and alienate everyone who isn't rich and old and white, while the Democrats carrying on the same-shit-different-day policies of the last fifty years. Power corrupts whether you're red or blue.

Some days, I think I'm a bit of both. My faith in God is a daily struggle as it is, and I lost faith in humanity and its systems years ago. I do my best to love God with heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love my proverbial neighbor as myself, neighbor being anyone who comes across my path in life, especially those who are vulnerable to getting massively screwed over.

I fail at all of those things frequently. I probably spend more time taking care of yours truly than the others in my world. I say things that I regret and don't always do what I could have done. I rant about the hypocrisy of others to feel better about myself. But I do what I can to not be a jerk and try to seek truth and love mercy and walk humbly with God and others. I don't expect to be perfect or have all the answers, but it's the best I can do.

week end.

So the first week of the new year ends with a sense of hope, even though I have no clue what the future holds and after the absurdity of the past 3 years of joy, depression, laughter and constant misadventure, I have just accepted that God with His infinite sense of humor has plenty more curveballs coming my way.

It looks like I'll be employed a little longer, and it makes the daily grind seem almost like a beautiful thing, though having coworkers that I actually enjoy, non-soul-stealing work to do, not having to wear a power suit, and lunch breaks replete with free classes, food and good music that I missed the first time around.

Looking forward to a weekend of unknown factors, except that I get to celebrate Ethiopian Christmas on Sunday, which I'm looking forward to immensely.

Where I'll be hanging out, there's at least three cultural groups represented there... Amhara, Tigrey, Oromo, two countries at political odds with each other. It seems like everyone has stories about getting beaten up by police, spending time in prison under dictatorship, their relatives jailed or stoned to death in villages.

The language isn't that far removed from Aramaic, the music is hypnotic and beautiful and I get this sense of ancientness and timelessness that's incredible. I wish I understood Amharic so I could understand the sermons, though people do translate for me and I'm grateful for it.



All the talking heads on TV who talk about 'The War on Christmas' don't have to worry about, well, getting blown up while attempting to worship together.
Stories like these are rare but they give me something resembling hope.

It's very easy to get Americentric when it comes to Christianity, to frame everything in partisan terms related to political parties and schools of thoughts, when there's a whole lot of other believers all over the world who have way bigger things to worry about and history way older than ours who see things very differently. .



I don't bother with New Year's resolutions anymore because I start a lot of things I can't finish, but if all goes well I'll be adventuring in Boston a few days in the week before Easter (already have tickets and a fellow traveler), and hopefully road tripping to Buffalo for a few days when the snow melts to visit people I enjoy way too much to only see them once a year.

I've also got a nephew on the way in about 4 months, which is so crazy to think about. With my sister's blessing, I bought him an awesomely illustrated hardback version of Charles & Mary Lamb's Shakespeare stories even though he's still in utero and won't appreciate it for another ten years at least. He's got a pair of brilliant and wonderful parents who aren't going to give their kids annoying toys that make noise and have batteries and hopefully I will play the part of Lovable Eccentric Auntie well.

And the creative juices have been flowing, and I just have to go with it when it's like that, whether it's concocting color schemes with glaze and experimenting with form, goofy Photoshop shenanigans, the endless possibilities of printmaking, or collages that mix together my twin obsessions of early Christian and medieval art and abstracted graffiti forms.

The pigeons have been making their presence (no pun intended) known and we've been enjoying the comedy of nature vs the urban landscape. Mad props to the good people of Adobe for making entertainment possible.



Have a good weekend, everyone.

best of the blotter 33

COMPLAINT, DETROIT AVENUE: At 10:34 p.m. Friday, a man was seen staggering and drinking from a champagne bottle. When police caught up to him, they confiscated the bottle and determined it was sparkling grape juice. The man was advised and sent on his way.

HERE, YOU DEAL WITH HER!: A Bainbridge Road man forwarded his personal phone calls to the Bainbridge police station to avoid talking to his ex-girlfriend Feb. 17.

Police received three phone calls on the emergency line from an upset Brayton Trail woman trying to reach her former boyfriend. She told police she hoped to discuss their past relationship.

Police told the man to stop forwarding his phone calls to the station.

THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TOYS: Chagrin Falls police responded to a report of a boy, 5, who did not want to spend custody time with his father Feb. 27, only to learn the reason was his father didn’t have as many toys and games for him to play with at his house. The mother then allowed the boy to take some toys and games with him, police said.

PHONE MESSAGE, LANDER ROAD: Police received a call about 2:15 a.m. on Christmas from a woman wanting to know “why the Shell gas station was not answering the phone.”

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, SPRAGUE ROAD: At 12:38 p.m. Dec. 21, a concerned citizen told police that two teenage boys wearing army fatigues were carrying a long silver pistol in a holster, and appeared to be heading toward Interstate 71.

Police located the boys, and spoke to one of their mother’s, who stated she knew they were out playing.

They were advised of their “very suspicious” appearance.

SUSPICIOUS PERSON, WILLIAMSBURG DRIVE: On Sunday, a caller reported a suspicious man walking weird on Williamsburg.

The caller felt the man was out of sorts and she was concerned about break-ins in the area.

Police responded and stopped a man on Sturbridge. The man was discovered to be a 16-year-old boy who was listening to music and dancing on his way to his home on Jefferson.

SUSPICION, LOCKLIE DRIVE: A caller reported on Dec. 14 that two juvenile boys were arguing in front of her home.

One of the boys walked up her driveway and said they wanted to sing Christmas carols. The resident denied the boys and they left in their vehicle. She told police there were 6-7 boys all together.

Police responded to the area and found vehicles on Medway, Tourelle and Longspur. All the boys checked okay and told police they would go home for the night.

SHOPLIFTING, SOUTHPARK MALL: Two juveniles were held for shoplifting at SouthPark Mall at 6:07 p.m. Thursday.

According to police reports, one of the juveniles had stolen a bottle of Tim McGraw cologne, valued at $33.40, from Sears.

The store chose not to press charges because the boys were returning home to Kuwait the next day. They were released to their mother.

THEFT, PEARL: Someone on Dec. 22 stole five frozen turkeys kept on a dock as gifts for employees of Value World, 6858 Pearl. The turkeys were among 41 the business operator bought as gifts.

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, CHATMAN DRIVE: A woman told police at 4:29 p.m. Thursday that earlier in the day an unknown “husky” white male in his 30s had attached a gray scarf to the antenna of her vehicle while it was parked in a lot.

REPORTED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PEARL ROAD: A woman called police to report that a domestic dispute was going on at 12:39 a.m. Friday in the apartment unit above hers. It sounded as if someone were being thrown against the wall, she said.

Police went to the unit to find that the subjects’ bird had gotten out and was flying around, banging into things.

INFORMATION, NEWKIRK DRIVE: A resident reported that he had his snow blower and leaf blower chained on his porch and hidden under a blanket. At about 5:52 p.m. Dec. 13, the complainant stated that someone had removed the blanket and then put it back, in an apparent attempt to steal his property.

No footprints were observed at the site. The man has now set up a booby trap with wires and pop cans and told police he will call if anything comes up missing.

DAMAGE TO PROPERTY, NEWKIRK DRIVE: A woman said she woke up about 8 a.m. Friday to find that her picnic table was turned over and moved. Her gate and her neighbor’s gate were open. Her siding was damaged and covered in blood. The neighbor stated that her house “shook” at about 1 a.m. that morning.

Police responded, discovering that a deer committed the damage.

DO A LITTLE DANCE, KICK A LITTLE TRUCK . . . : A South Euclid man, 39, told police Feb. 15 his girlfriend got mad at him because he did not get up off the couch fast enough to move his truck from their driveway to suit her desire. He alleged the girlfriend, 41, kicked the truck several times, causing damage.

When police queried her, she denied kicking the vehicle. Instead, she said, her boyfriend must have mistaken a kicking action for her dancing alongside the truck.

DISTURBANCE, CHILLICOTHE ROAD: A BP convenience store employee called police after three suspicious males attempted to purchase alcoholic beverages Dec. 20.

One Huntsburg man, 21, appeared to have a legal ID. The employee described the males as Amish.

OVI/HIT-SKIP, U.S. ALT. 422:

Police received a call shortly before 9 p.m. last Friday from a witness reporting a “possible drunk driver, asleep behind the wheel” of his car at state routes 91 and 43. The witness followed the car, and reported it running the red light at SOM Center and Solon roads before getting onto westbound 422, at some point allegedly running a Ford Explorer off the road. Police located the suspect at the I-271 entrance ramp from 422, where his car was stopped and blocking traffic. He initially told police he was going to his sister’s house in Oakwood, which police noted was in the other direction. Although they did not detect the immediate presence of alcohol, the man was unsteady on his feet, had slurred speech and prescriptions in the car.

He also told police that “Ozzy Osborne and his music made me do it.” As police await lab test results, the suspect is charged with OVI, hit-skip, and failure to control, in addition to the previous breaking and entering charge.

can I be stupid for a minute... I was looking in that half-empty glass...

I was running through downtown to catch the train, trying to figure out why there's so many people in TSA and DHS uniforms around, not so much because of terrorists because who gives a damn about blowing up Cleveland but because every day I feel more and more like my world is turning into some creepy Orwell Meets Huxley superfuture.

It doesn't personally affect my way of life because my skin is pale, my ethnicity is neither Latino or Semitic, my gender is the weaker sex, and the only real political action I've ever been a part of was a March for Life in high school and a road trip to a demonstration about the genocide in Darfur in college, both of which were relatively uneventful. But I know that the lives of others are constantly getting messed up and that's just not ok.

The governor of my state wants to privatize the prisons, the prison system being so messed up to begin with but to add profit margins even more than there already is, is just downright scary, while my city pins its hopes on slimy businessmen with big mouths and unrealistic promises. It says it can't keep all these schools open but is building another juvenile detention center, and my country is still doing shady things all over the world and here too. Maybe I'm just reading too much Balko, but the precedent for tyranny is unnerving.

Meanwhile, I keep on keeping on, trying to make sense of things and keep them in perspective. My friend around the corner and I did our art therapy as she sculpted pots that look like Dr. Seuss landscapes and I dripped glazes down the sides of bowls trying to get a color scheme that reminds me of Venetian glass and the luminous medieval enameling that I saw at the art museum.

My art teachers have always said I work too fast, and looking at these works of art that were created over years has made me want to slow down and execute even more detail, to create something beautiful.

We make dinner afterwards, stay up late drinking pots of tea and pondering God, man, woman, and the universe, and all the sea changes that occurred in the past year. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone, to remember that there's a lot of us just trying to make it through.

branding iron

Seriously people, this year on my corner of the world won't all be about Alice in Chains, generational conflict, and the travails of life in the Rust Belt.

Randal is way more entertaining than myself about a book that came through here about personal branding and I honestly don't know what planet some of these people live on. It had to do with shampoo and a trademarked "YOU" or something and talked about how the reason women are sexually harassed is because they don't wear proper business attire and that men are judged by what shoes they wear.

Because women are "totally asking for it" and we should judge a man by the pattern on his tie. Right.

It's bad enough to be judging someone by what brands they wear, but when we start talking about what brand a person IS and that some are more desirable than others, well, what the heck? And we do judge if we're honest. I don't tend to trust people who wear expensive suits who want me to vote for them or who try to sell me something, and I can't take someone's ideas seriously if they can't spell.

I guess we call this labeling and typecasting by any other name which I thought was a bad thing and there's this strange cultural social Orwellianism of all of us theoretically being equal but some of us still being much more equal than others.

I like to give my boomer compadres a hard time, but my fellow millenial spawn appear to be taking the narcissism to a whole new level and we don't even get some good music or something resembling the civil rights movement out of the deal. Just a lot of tweets and likes.

I really wonder about my generation when I see these other people who are my age who have bought into this whole idea of not just marketing as something you do to pay your bills, but as something you make a life out of because you're just so damn special and so damn interesting in a calculated kind of way.

And I know I don't work in an environment or culture with such individuals, and they probably don't attend the esteemed academic institution I work for because they consider state schools beneath them. I wonder where these people live, where they party, how they sleep at night, what kind of relationships do they have? Clearly they don't live here, I think, having blown this popsicle stand for places like Chicago and either coast. Their parents probably live in a nice house and wouldn't talk to mine because we don't have any social capital.



But then I remember that there was this guy when I was at Kent who was my age but throughout undergrad wore suits every day and was one of those people who everyone knew and all that. I think he's probably gone on to be successful and I guess people like him are the kind of people that get things done but that's just not how I roll I guess.

And the subbacultcha is all about the personal brand just in a collective tribal sense... having the right haircut, the right band t-shirts and accessories, the right attitude, and it can be just as catty as any celebutante reality show, only with a heavy dose of sour grapes and "at least I'm not like THAT" thrown in.



So I look at these nebulous questions like "What is YOUR personal brand?" or "How does your appearance enhance your brand?" or people promoting a "personal brand toolkit." It's already a soul-sucking enterprise to sell things, but to sell yourself often at the expense of others...

I don't even have words and it sounds childish and immaturely punk rock to say corporate whore but what kind of other real description is there? Not that I'm advocating the absurdity that is Adbusters, and it's true that people do still judge, but to wholeheartedly embrace it seems so profoundly wrong.



Speaking of branding, this one was big among my old crew back when Sub Pop was awesome.



I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? I look pretty good but I'm just back-dated as it is.