Tuesday, October 5, 2010

that's me in the corner

"Oh no I've said too much / I haven't said enough..."

If I could sum up most of my dealings in life, it would be with those two lines.

There have been so many times when I should have said something, and so many times I should have just shut up.

It's hard to know which one is the right one to do in any given situation.

I have said so many things I regret so intensely when good intentions get tied up with strong emotions and everything comes out in a jumble of salty language and half-baked arguments. And I have not spoken up so many times when I needed to, when I needed to tell the truth, be honest, stand up for someone. I'm getting better at speaking out without getting overly emotional, but there's times I wonder if my honesty will be the death of me.

It's hard when I see something that is very very wrong, not to say something.

I know that there have been times when others saw things in my life that I didn't see and cared enough to point them out to me. I remember being mad at first and then as time went on realizing, "Damn, they're right" and being thankful that they were willing to risk my good graces to be honest because they cared.

But that's just me. I'm open to the possibility that I might be wrong but I'm realizing more and more that others would rather exist in the world of their own creation rather than face the truth.

I just wonder if it does any good sometimes to say it.


Anonymous said...

saying "it" might not have the desired impact on the other person but it will give you more faith in yourself. when we betray our selves/values by not speaking up, not bearing witness, we lose a bit of our souls. keep practicing at your faith.

thatgirl said...

I guess that's what it is.

Randal Graves said...

When in doubt, machete.