yehuda amichai, you rock my world.

Half the people in the world love the other half,
half the people hate the other half.
Must I because of this half and that half go wandering
and changing ceaselessly like rain in its cycle,
must I sleep among rocks, and grow rugged like
the trunks of olive trees,
and hear the moon barking at me,
and camouflage my love with worries,
and sprout like frightened grass between the railroad
tracks,
and live underground like a mole,
and remain with roots and not with branches, and not
feel my cheek against the cheek of angels, and
love in the first cave, and marry my wife
beneath a canopy of beams that support the earth,
and act out my death, always till the last breath and
the last words and without ever understanding,
and put flagpoles on top of my house and a bomb shelter
underneath. And go out on raids made only for
returning and go through all the appalling
stations—cat,stick,fire,water,butcher,
between the kid and the angel of death?
Half the people love,
half the people hate.
And where is my place between such well-matched halves,
and through what crack will I see the white housing
projects of my dreams and the bare foot runners
on the sands or, at least, the waving of a girl's
kerchief, beside the mound?

long division

I've been grieving a lot of things recently. Sometimes the music says more than I can say right now. Coexisting is hard enough, living at peace sometimes seems damn near impossible. I do what I can to live at peace because it's what God asks of me and because it's better for everyone that way, but damn does life get complicated.

Someone once told me that hurting people are the ones who hurt others the most and I can't help but wonder if it's true.



It's a long time coming,
It's a long way down,
It's long division,
Crack and divide.
This is a parting,
Some separation,
We lay in pieces,
Cracked to survive.
I'm not your villain,
Not your adversary,
I'm not your reason to crack and divide.
It's long division,
Crack and divide

under the bridge downtown...

The partner in crime and I had a great time taking pictures of pretty lights and shiny things at Ingenuity. The space in the old subway tunnel underneath the Detroit-Superior Bridge is so amazing on its own that anything added to that just sweetens it even more, and the artwork, lighting, performances, and the waterfall cascading like Niagara over the side were incredible.





It actually felt like the city was alive, because there were actually people out, and that was good to see, and instead of paying for overpriced carnival food, we got takeout pizza at Edison's and came back to the apartment to listen to the new Roots album, drink Lazizas and philosophize about relationships.

I went back the next night with Lindsay after a family dinner and watched members of the Sugarhill Gang keep the party going and chilled out to a reggae band at the end of the night. When I got back out to the east side I was so exhausted I crashed on the couch there and drove home the next morning. So much for coffee and scrabble, hopefully next time.




And despite all the drama of the past month, the climax of that seems to have something of the divine timing to it. I'll be moving out of my lovely apartment after six of the most unpredictable months in my life. I'm going to miss my garden, my amazing roomie going on to bigger and brighter things, and the crazy kids running around, but it really is the best decision to make given the situation and a mutual understanding that is reassuring.

I haven't figured out if I'm going to life with some friends in Old Brooklyn or try to fly solo for a little while. I haven't lived with multiple people in awhile, and I know I get stir-crazy when left by myself for a long time, so we'll see how this all shakes out. Right now I'm leaning toward the roomies, which are two inner city school teachers and an Ethiopian college student. I guess this keeps me from getting too comfortable and soft... or something.

I think it's turning back around...

I'm looking forward to this weekend, with the weather being perfect for driving through the city all night, getting to go under the bridge again for Ingenuity Fest, which is free this year, getting to hear some good live music, and spending time with those I love.

I'm learning more and more that love is not this warm and fuzzy abstract feeling that comes and goes with the emotions but something that is in a constant state of action and reorienting thoughts, of choosing not to continue cycles of vindictiveness, of choosing to forgive, choosing to be honest even if it hurts, choosing to seek peace and let the past be the past. So often we let life be all about our thoughts and our grievances and don't step back to look at the whole picture.

And if we didn't have sucky things in life, we probably wouldn't learn anything, toughen up, soften up or grow in the right ways. I look at so many of the things have happened in the past two years and I'm thankful I went through them because it's helped me so much with the present.

down on the upside, indeed.

Friday silliness

It's always weird doing the late night and then coming in early in the morning, most of the late night being watching the clock move and me and the grad student's continual fascination with the foibles of world leaders, who've been disappointing us as of late with a lack of unintentionally hilarious manly man propaganda, bizarre UN speeches, or absurd proclamations.

I feel bad inflicting bad music on you all, especially since I got this song stuck in my compadre's head this morning

However, this awesome song and sweet video let to this band getting banned in Zimbabwe for portraying Mugabe turning into a chicken. By the way, the puppets are stars of a South African webtv satire show that includes skits where Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela discuss Twitter. I don't get all the humor and had to look up who half the people were that they were making fun of, but it's good stuff.



And pandas in Egypt intimidate you into eating their cheese.



And I had no idea that Mikhail Gorbachev made a Pizza Hut commercial.

turn it up it's too far down as if we can relate...

I realize I'm getting older when I go out to see some live music and end up sitting in a table by a corner behind a wall with Jim and Christine because it's just too damn loud up front. And then I'm wondering when the headliner is going to come on and if I can stay up that late. But darn it, I've paid my eight dollars and I've had a rough couple weeks, the venue is chill, and it's not every day that Grant Hart of the late great Husker Du is playing at the bar around the corner and I don't have to be at work until the early afternoon.

I listened to a lot of 80's punk and hardcore in my Kent State days and all of my Husker albums have been collecting dust since I no longer have a functioning turntable, having thrown out my old one when I moved out and when I realized it was playing all my records too fast.

I haven't listened to any of his solo stuff, but he was responsible for my favorite songs and while he didn't play 'The Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill,' he played some of my other favorites and asked us about things that happened in Cleveland before most of us were born and exhibited a shy and somewhat snarky sense of humor.


He plugged in an old electric guitar and taped a row of picks onto it with masking tape, ignoring requests for certain songs that Bob Mould wrote and seemed to disappear into his own world. I always wonder how people can get that sense of melody and intensity with just a few chords and words but I got the shivers up my spine in the best way even with the songs I didn't know.



Now that there has been at least some return to relative normalcy, it felt good and cathartic to be around loud guitars and aching souls. It brought me back to all I've been through and how that's helped me get to where I'm at now...

playlist 9/21/10

trying to get back into posting playlists

cut chemist - the garden

bonobo - kong

radiohead - 15 step

twilight singers - twilight

thievery corporation - la femme parallel

diplo - summer's gonna hurt you

shlomo and the vocal orchestra - teardrop

novalima - zamba lanco

bad brains - leaving babylon

tenor saw - ring the alarm

the charmels - as long as I've got you

stan getz and luiz bonfa - insensatez

blind boys of alabama - way down in the hole

the bellrays- have a little faith

erykah badu - bag lady

mos def - umi says

afghan whigs - lost in the supermarket / stand by me/ train in vain

stiffed - hold tight

soul coughing - lazybones

linton kwesi johnson - black petty booshwah enforcer (request)

althea & donna - no more fighting

dennis brown - man next door

parliament - goose that laid the golden egg

devo - gut feeling

the dirtbombs - trainwreck