dengue fever

plans have changed,

but this is something i'm more than a bit excited about seeing:




this california band resurrects a hybrid of cambodian pop, 60s garage, with a dash of ethiopian jazz, that more or less got killed off when the khmer rouge murdered 3 million people. among the artists, musicians, and intellectuals that were especially singled out, was a thriving musical scene that created some absolutely wild stuff (listen here)

anyhow, they're playing in columbus on february 29, and i'm definitely going to roadtrip down there to check it out.

thinking about checking out some local garage/indie rock out at pat's in the flats tomorrow night with frank to check out these guys from west virginia.

i love pat's because it couldn't exist in a lot of other places, being a "working-man bar by day, blue-collar rock-club at night." this is where the white stripes played before they got famous, and where you can see any combination of local acts and random bands from out of town.

i'm surprised at how many people i've met haven't even heard of the place, but it is hard to find, and even then, it looks like it could be abandoned from the outside.



but on the inside it reminds me of a really awesome basement or living room but i'm not sure why.

the more you see the less you know...

i really don't have a whole lot of faith in politicians on either side, but i have been finding this election season a whole lot more interesting even if i'm a bit fatalistic about whatever we end up with. ideally i'm hoping for an obama-mccain matchup just because it'd be interesting but being from this neck of the woods i've learned not to expect too much.

one of the things that irritates the heck out of me though is when people use the whole poverty thing as a talking point, especially if they're ambulance chasing lawyers turned politicians (cough cough, john edwards, cough). come on now, what would you know about any of that? you go to work every day in one of the most desperate areas of the country and don't look any of these people in the eye and you have the nerve to act like you care. i could think of a whole lot of other things you could do with $400 instead of getting a haircut.

(then again being that scruffy kid, i cut my own hair all the way through college and that didn't always look too good).

one of the things that always struck me whenever i've visited dc is that you could be driving through the very worst part of town and you'll see the capitol dome rising up over all of it. there are homeless veterans and people on crack and people down on their luck like the unemployed migrant workers that becky and the rest of us ended up hanging out with who traveled across the country picking fruit and doing construction but weren't able to find any work so they were living on the steps of a lutheran church less than a mile from the white house.

i don't know how you could live with yourself walking past that every day as you go to work and make legislation or attend various talks and photo-ops and fundraisers.

but then again, i live in one of the poorest cities in the country and my bus goes by guys sleeping on heating vents on the superior avenue sidewalks in the shadow of the keybank tower.

i guess i try to do what i can, trying not to consume as much, trying to do what i can in the places where i find myself. i pass on job leads, old textbooks, any resources that come my way. i don't have time like i used to, but i still try to give it up, use it for something.

trying not to be so darn self-absorbed, which is hard given that my generation codes itself by "i" and "me" and "my."

it's not like compassion is relegated exclusively to the republicans or the democrats or conservatives or liberals. there are heartless and self-absorbed people on both sides and while it may make you feel good to talk about how great you are in comparison to "those other people," doesn't really do a whole lot of good.

i see anarchist friends who feed the homeless every sunday in public square, and the amazing people at nueva luz who come from a much more conservative nazarene background who distribute food and clothing in the neighborhood and have loads of resources for people with AIDS in the hispanic community.

this whole issue is never as cut-and-dried as it appears to be. so please, talking heads, everywhere, please stop acting like you have some kind of monopoly on it.

diamonds and guns

there's a group of kids who live across the street from the church i go to, and they show up every sunday morning bringing an assortment of neighbors, cousins, and older siblings. what amazes me is that their parents are rarely there, but they show up nonetheless.

i've probably heard the bible stories we go over a million times, but they've never heard these stories before. they like playing the games, and don't always get into the craft activities so much. they draw me pictures and i make hot chocolate for the little ones, who want at least three scoops of swiss miss and two packs of sugar.

they range in age from 3-12, and i still haven't figured out how they're all related.

the one girl was freaking out because her cousin showed up wearing these earrings that looked a bit like this:

"you're not supposed to wear those to church!" tiasia says and he felt all embarrassed and asked me if he should go home because he did a bad thing and i said no. that it didn't matter to me and
i was just glad he was there.

we did a prayer walk through the neighborhood this afternoon and me and tiasia walk together on the one side of the street and pray for everyone who lives there. she prays for the kids on her street and the people who are in prison and the people who are on drugs. the boys are across the street alternating between showing off their favorite wrestling moves they saw on tv, quoting souljah boy, and praying that their families get back together and "heavenly father, please help the neighbors across the street who are smoking weed to not do it anymore because it's bad!"

at the end of the walk, they take us upstairs to meet her aunt and there is no furniture upstairs, just inflatable mattresses spread out on the floor, milk crates instead of chairs, and a pile of clothes in the corner. i've met her aunt a couple times and the guy that lives there, and little ones greet me with hugs and tell me they want to come along with the big kids next time too.

i see the older kids walking around the streets down there and wonder what the future of these small ones will be. i pray and hope against hope that it's something better.

i find myself choking up as i walk down the stairs and back to my car.

mad props to the winston jazz...

the awesome kids from mansfield not only toured with david bazan earlier this year but also made it onto npr!

i look pretty good but i'm just backdated, or, favorite albums of 2007

i don't know what 'the kids' are listening to anymore, but i can say that the new arcade fire was disappointing, the shins are boring, and i couldn't tell you anything about 85% of the stuff that made it onto the best-of lists this year. much of it seemed like fruity dance music, or boring lite-rock for the hipsters, so, in keeping with my ever-more geriatric tastes, here's the best of the year from yours truly.

soulsavers - it's not how far you fall, it's the way you land
because mark lanegan is the gen-x johnny cash








bedouin soundclash - street gospels
because these canadians bring the reggae

bad brains - build a nation
because these guys are righteous (and the only hardcore i listen to anymore)

dinosaur jr - beyond
because j mascis is j mascis

kristin hersh - learn to sing like a star
because i want to be kristin hersh when i grow up



beastie boys - the mix-up
because i couldn't stop listening to it.

so we're told this is the golden age...

celebrated new year's eve at a friend's house in ohio city. the chilled out holiday of conversation, board games, tv, swishing sparkling grape juice around in a goblet.

i found my writing from a year ago at this time and i was quoting jawbreaker lyrics and feeling extremely depressed, being lonely and hating my job and wondering how i'd screwed up so badly, why i couldn't connect with anyone. wondering why everyone else was messed up even more than i was.

this year at the same time i'm dogsitting on the west side, in the neighborhood of the photo below, walking the cold cleveland streets with a big black dog, continuing to seek ways to serve and love this place that i've made my home. like everything in life, you lose some things but then you get other things back.

and i'm so thankful. i've got a car so i can see more of friends who live outside of walking distance, i've met new brothers and sisters that have made me see the world in new ways, i have a place of employment i actually like waking up for in the morning. i've found a church up here where i'm actually a part of things again and share the same vision. i'm breaking open those guitar calluses on my hands again. i've got kids who draw me pictures and tell me about their lives. i realize yet again that there is a hope and a future here.